In a quiet café in the heart of Alicante, I meet Elena, a 52-year-old woman with lively eyes and a tired smile. As she sips her coffee, she begins to tell me her story, a story that resonates with millions of women all over Spain and beyond. Elena is part of what sociologists call the "sandwich generation" - women trapped between the responsibilities of raising their children and caring for their elderly parents, just like a sandwich, hence the name.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm in a circus," says Elena with a bitter laugh, "trying to balance a plate on each finger while walking a tightrope." Her story is a journey through frantic days and sleepless nights, a constant ballet between the demands of her two teenage children and the growing needs of her octogenarian parents.
Elena's day begins at dawn. She prepares breakfast for her children, Marco and Sofía, while checking her phone for overnight messages from her mother's caregiver. Her father passed away last year, leaving her mother, who has early-stage dementia, in need of constant care. After taking the kids to school, Elena rushes to work, where she manages a small flower shop.
"Flowers are my therapy," she confesses with a smile. "In moments of calm, arranging a bouquet brings me back to myself." But these moments are rare. During lunch break, Elena rushes to her mother's house to make sure everything is alright, often skipping her own meal in the process.
The afternoon brings a new wave of responsibilities: helping the children with their homework, preparing dinner, and often making a second visit to her mother. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough for everyone," Elena confesses, her voice revealing a mix of exhaustion and guilt.
But Elena is not alone in this struggle. According to recent studies, nearly 30% of Spanish women between the ages of 45 and 65 find themselves in a similar situation. This generation faces not only the challenges of family care but also changes in their own bodies and the pressures of professional life.
Dr. Betty Jaramillo, a gynecologist at Mater Clinic in Alicante, sees women like Elena daily, women who belong to this entire generation trapped in a sandwich of situations and experiences. Many arrive exhausted, both physically and emotionally, as they go through menopause with all its accompanying symptoms, while trying to be pillars for their families.
Menopause, in fact, adds an additional layer of complexity to the already hectic lives of these women. Hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood swings, weight gain, anxiety, and fear, among others, are all symptoms that can make it even more difficult to manage multiple responsibilities.
"I've started to suffer from insomnia," says Elena. "I would wake up in the middle of the night, sweaty and anxious, thinking about all the things I had to do the next day." The lack of sleep began to affect her mood and her ability to concentrate, creating a vicious cycle of stress and fatigue.
Dr. Jaramillo understands the importance of a holistic approach in these situations. We cannot treat only the physical symptoms. We must look at the person as a whole, their lifestyle, and their emotional challenges.
Managing these symptoms while taking care of others may seem like an impossible task, but it is not. To effectively cope with menopausal symptoms without resorting, for example, to a medication containing female hormones that you must take to replace the estrogen your body stops producing during menopause, you can turn to various medical and natural options such as:
- Herbs and Natural Supplements: Using herbs like black cohosh for menopausal symptoms and maca to enhance fertility can be very helpful.
At Mater Clinic, women like Elena find a multidisciplinary approach. In addition to traditional gynecological care, the clinic provides consultations with a holistic approach. We encourage our patients to view this period not as a crisis, but as an opportunity for transformation.
For Elena, the path to wellness began with small steps. Upon her gynecologist's advice, she started practicing yoga twice a week. "At first, finding the time seemed impossible," she admits. "But I realized that if I didn't take care of myself, I couldn't take care of others."
The clinic's holistic approach also included specific nutritional advice. Elena learned the importance of a diet rich in:
- Phytoestrogens, calcium, and vitamin D to manage menopausal symptoms and maintain bone health.
-Supplements like magnesium can help reduce stress and improve sleep.
"I started incorporating more soy, flax seeds, and leafy green vegetables into my diet," she says. "Not only do I feel better physically, but these changes have also had a positive impact on the whole family's eating habits."
Another crucial aspect of Elena's well-being was addressing changes in her sexual life. A common symptom of menopause, it was affecting intimacy with her husband. "It was a topic I felt embarrassed to discuss," she confesses. But with the support of Dr. Jaramillo, Elena found solutions:
-Clinical options for vaginal dryness: During menopause, vaginal dryness can become a significant issue. Using vaginal lubricants based on hyaluronic acid can significantly improve comfort during sexual intercourse. Additionally, there are moisturizing vaginal creams that can be applied regularly to maintain vaginal mucosa hydration.
- Management of pelvic pain: Chronic pelvic pain can be a complication of menopause and stress. Physical therapies such as pelvic floor physiotherapy can be highly effective in reducing pain and improving quality of life. Consulting with a specialized physiotherapist can make a significant difference.
- Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as biofeedback can help manage stress and improve gynecological health. Biofeedback teaches how to control normally involuntary bodily functions, such as muscle tension, through electronic monitoring.
Many women think they must silently endure these changes, but there is so much we can do to improve quality of life during this phase.
That's why at Mater Clinic, with the guidance of Dr. Betty Jaramillo, we also offer reiki consultations.
-Reiki: An energy healing practice that can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being. A reiki session can provide a moment of deep relaxation, assisting in restoring the body's energetic balance.
Elena found not only comfort, but also practical strategies to manage her daily load. "I learned the importance of delegating," she says. "I involved my husband and children in caring for my mother. Not only did it lighten my load, but it also strengthened family bonds." Elena also learned the importance of setting boundaries. "I realized that saying no doesn't make me a bad daughter or a bad mother," she asserts. "It makes me a healthier person and more capable of giving my best when it really matters."
Elena's journey hasn't been easy, and she continues to face daily challenges. But with the right support and the correct tools, she has found a new balance. "It's not perfect," she admits with a smile, "but I'm learning to embrace imperfection. Therefore, it's important to:
- Psychological support: Talking to a therapist can help manage emotions and develop effective coping strategies. Online or local support groups provide a safe space to share experiences and receive advice from other women in similar situations.
As we conclude our conversation, Elena receives a message on her phone. It's from her daughter Sofia, asking if she can pick up grandma for dinner. "See?" Elena says with a radiant smile. "Little miracles happen every day."
Elena's story is a powerful reminder that, with the right support and mindset, sandwich generation women can not only survive but thrive. It's a message of hope for all those feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities, reminding them that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity.
As Elena gets up to leave, I notice a new light in her eyes. It's the gaze of a woman who, despite carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, has learned to dance gracefully under that weight. And in that dance, she has found a new strength, a new resilience, and above all, a new version of herself.
Mater Clinic is here to support sandwich generation women with an integrated approach to health, accompanying them and, above all, understanding their issues with empathy and care. We offer specialized consultations in gynecology, fertility, and holistic approaches to well-being. Feel free to reach out to us without any obligation or book an appointment with us. You can find us on Doctoralia or message us on WhatsApp at +34 645 096 548, or contact us through your preferred method, and we'll be happy to speak with you!
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